Bognor 59 – 3 Chineham

Bognor secured a play-off place on Saturday with a big win in front of an even bigger crowd at Hampshire Avenue. Millbrook’s victory over Fareham meant that they secured the title, and automatic promotion, by a single point over Bognor.

Over 300 people turned out to support Bognor including the majority of the club’s 2nd XV who secured their own league title just a week ago.

Mike Calton led Bognor out for the first time and the speedy fly-half was quick to organize his troops. It was his pass that fed young Jack Hornibrook for the first score. Hornibrook twirled like a ballerina past his man and then dashed to the corner for an unconverted try.

Chineham were visibly exhausted after a long season so Bognor, admirably, did their best to even the game up. After several silly mistakes Bognor were penalized 9 times in a row. Coach Rob Outen, in a fit of infuriated rage, threw his lucky baseball cap into some nearby trees.

However Bognor’s defence was as robust as ever. Harry Dyer launched his 28inch quadriceps into a tackle forcing a turnover. Mark Ubsdell then danced his way through the bamboozled Chineham defence. Tom James surged forward with all the pace of a tectonic plate but spilled the ball over the try line.

Fortunately the quick-thinking Irishman Pat Gibbs spotted an opportunity from a tap penalty to bag Bognor’s second score. Calton slotted the conversion.

Dan Brock announced himself into the game by flying in off his wing to smash his opposite number. Chris Clare snaffled the loose ball and darted downfield. The ball was recycled to Joe Burns who threw a delightful sidestep to make further yards. Calton then sold a dummy and powerwalked over the line for a converted score.

Nathan Archer and Harry Dyer continued to tackle anything that moved. Dyer put in another thunderous hit by the Chineham line but Calton emerged as collateral damage from the tackle and had to be withdrawn. The crowd swooned as ladies’ favourite Josh Riggall pranced onto the pitch.

Bognor then turned on the style. Shane Stevens and his fellow winger Brock both made long range bursts. Jacob Masters made a wizardly turnover and his enormous companion Chris Webb rumbled downfield.

Having hauled down the 22 stone Webb the Chineham fullback opted out of tackling 19 stone Welshman Gareth Thomas ,who gracefully swan dived over the line leaving a trail of bloodshed and destruction in his wake.

Tighthead prop Webb then got his own try. The big man powered through two tacklers and then dashed 40m to the line. Several of Bognor’s retired front rowers looked on with astonishment before settling back into their pints.

Half time came and as did the mandatory instructions from coaches Martin Broome and Rob Outen. Broome urged Bognor on, Outen enquired as to whether anybody had brought a spare hat with them.

Bognor were straight on the scoresheet with a ridiculous try. A long range break from centre Josh Burgess set a ruck in Chineham’s 22. Gibbs, now at fly-half, spotted Brock free on the wing and crafted a beautiful cross field kick straight into his arms. Hornibrook nailed the conversion.

Brock made another long range break after another superb Archer turnover. He found Hornibrook in support who finished with style for another converted try.

Josh Burgess realized that he hadn’t scored so decided to hit a monstrous line off of Gibbs. The crowd looked on wondering whether he had the lung capacity to sprint the remaining 40 metres and he did. Physio Samantha Drown made oxygen available after the game for Burgess.

Thomas finished off Bognor’s tries with another bulldozing run to the line. Hornibrook converted and Bognor celebrated a successful season long into the night.

Coach Outen said “it’s been a great season but I would have loved to have finished on top of the podium.” Next week Bognor welcome Old Freemans in the play-off fixture.

All support is greatly appreciated with kick-off at 3pm. A friendly atmosphere and good rugby is guaranteed.

Team: Webb, Ubsdell, J Burns, Masters, James, N Archer, Dyer, Thomas, Gibbs, Calton (C), Stevens, Burgess, Clare, D Brock, Hornibrook. Greenslade, Bidwell, Riggall.